Monday, December 10, 2007

Vanilla Ice vs Soulja Boy

"Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice:

Verse 1:
All right stop collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance go rush to the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it you better gain weight
You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Verse 2:
Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in and the vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point to the point no faking
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon
Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi-hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' in my 5.0
With my rag-top down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby waving just to say hi
Did you stop no I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block
The block was dead
Yo so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Shay with a guage and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The chumps acting ill because they're so full of eight balls
Gunshots rang out like a bell
I grabbed my nine all I heard were shells
Falling on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car slammed on the gas
Bumpet to bumper the avenue's packed
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene you know what I mean
They passed me up confronted all the dope fiends
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it

Verse 3:
Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed
This is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast other DJs say damn
If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while Shay revolves it

A classic, needless to say. Now something more modern.

"Crank Dat" by Soulja Boy:

Verse 1:
Soulja Boy up in it (OH!)
Watch Me Lean And Watch Me Rock
Super Man Dat (OH!)
Then Watch Me Crank Dat Robocop
Super Fresh, Now Watch Me Jock
Jocking On Them Haterz Man
When I Do Dat Soulja Boy
I Lean To The Left And Crank Dat Dance
(Now You)
I'm Jocking On Yo Bitch Ass
And If We Get The Fightin
Then I'm Cocking On Your Bitch
You Catch Me At Yo Local Party
Yes I Crank It Everyday
Haterz Get Mad Cuz
"I Got Me Some Bathin Apes"

Verse 2:
I'm Bouncin On My Toe
Watch Me Super Soak Dat (OH!)
I'ma Pass It To Arab
Then He Gon Pass It To The Low (Low)
Haterz Wanna Be Me
Soulja Boy, I'm The Man
They Be Lookin At My Neck
Sayin Its The Rubberband Man (Man)
Watch Me Do It (Watch Me Do It)
Dance (Dance)
Let Get To It (Let Get To It)
Nope, You Can't Do It Like Me
Hoe, So Don't Do It Like Me
Folk, I See You Tryna Do It Like Me
Man That Shit Was Ugly

As maligned as Vanilla Ice is/was, his song is lightyears better than what is currently one of the favorite rap/hip-hong songs of 2007. That is honestly just depressing. Crank Dat is incredibly poorly written, stupid, and has absolutely no redeeming value except for a funny video on youtube of kids dancing to that song. Pre-teens dancing to lines like "Superman that Ho." Classy, real classy. Where did Eminem go and how did he take all good rap with him? 50 Cent blows now. Anything associated with rap and hip-hop pretty much blows now. Nothing has any quality. It's shameful

Saturday, December 1, 2007

My lover Hughes

Dear Yankees,

Despite your owners' new-found love of proactive and aggressive dealing with the media and public, you have not yet destroyed your image. Dealing Phil Hughes however, will.


Your Real Fans

PS - If this happens, it is GUARANTEED to backfire.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Pats Eagles

What the Patriots giveth, they also take away.

AJ Feeley was not exceptional by any definition of the word but the Eagles D actually played the NFL's best offense very well. Feeley threw two bad passes, both of which were to Kevin Curtis. One was a definite touchdown but was underthrown by about 3-4 yards. Curtis had both the CB and S beat by about a yard but Feeley couldn't throw the ball far enough. What a pussy. The second was a forced pass that dropped right into Asante Samuel's hands. Terrible, terrible throw.

Feeley's second pass of the game was also another forced pass. Samuel, like the stat-padder that he is, jumped the route and ran the pick in for six.

The Pats just looked lazy this whole game. I don't think any of them looked at the scoreboard the entire game and just assumed they were winning. No real looks of panic/shock. Still, the Colts should have beat them and the Eagles were gift-wrapped a W. They won't go 16-0.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Alex Rodriguez + NYY = Postseason lock

New World Series favorite: the 2008 New York Yankees.

Thanks A-Rod, for realizing that Boras was not good for your image.


The New York Yankees and their fans

Saturday, November 3, 2007


Having recently worked (this past week) with some young, fresh-out-of-college Wachovia employees I can safely say that Sean and Sam aren't the biggest tools I know, if only because these Wachovia people also talked about their bonuses and earning potential non FUCKING stop. At least several of them were really, really cute. That made it tolerable. For the girls at least. The guys were just tools.

I never realized until Thursday how low and crass you sound when you curse non-stop in completely inappropriate situations. One of the Wachovia guys just dropped f-bombs all over the place while working at a Habitat for Humanity job site in the presence of his bosses and the really just blew my mind how dumb it makes you sound if you keep doing stuff like that; there's a place and time for cursing but when it's really out of line... It just sounds bad. Note to self.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

E-mail to Jeremy on the 2008 Yankees

E-mail to Jeremy about the New York Yankees that - rather succinctly - expresses my feelings on the team.

I'm also extremely shocked A-Rod decided to opt out. I totally, completely thought he was going to work out an extension of some sort with NY. I hope to GOD that most of this decision was due to Boras' influence and that A-Rod isn't actually such a greedy, honor-less bastard. In some ways, I'm not disappointed he is leaving but the thought of having to replace his production is really depressing. Watching him this year at times (Baltimore, Cleveland, Boston BAM) will probably go down as some of my favorite Yankee memories of all time. I know for sure that right now they are certainly at the top of my list. Seriously, I giggled/whoknowswhatelsemaybecreamedmypants when A-Rod hit that fucker off Joe Borowski to win the game at Yankee Stadium. Highlight of 2007 (with the others being graduation from college and Sean telling me he was gay, hilarious). On the flipside, I am looking forward to the possibility of A-Rod stepping up to the plate with 2 outs, 2 men on, and down by 2, batting in the middle of the Angels lineup and having Joba/Mo strike him out with a chest high fastball at 96+ mph. GOD THAT WOULD BE SO AMAZING.

On another note, I'm not super worried about the Yankees lineup minus A-Rod. I think his departure and Girardi's return to the NY bench could galvanize a return to more small-ball ways of winning games, which is something that has definitely departed our managerial mindset over the past couple of years (although with Abreu and Damon that changed a little bit...but not much). When healthy, Matsui was one of the best hitters in baseball for the month of July when he went absolutely crazy. Even at the end of the year after quite a precipitous and well-documented slide his stats were not bad. Not great but definitely not bad at all. Damon is the wild-card of the bunch I think; if he can produce at 2006 type levels then I'm definitely not worried. I'm hoping that he was just hampered by injuries like Matsui and that a return to full health will mean a return to form (for both of them). I definitely like Damon in LF though and Matsui DH'ing. First base can be taught and that's where Giambi needs to go; I don't give a fuck how many ground balls and errant throws you have to give to him in practice but he needs to learn how to play first base. I'm willing to lose a couple of runs defensively each year (a couple is an understatement but whatever) playing him over Duncan/Phillips because his bat is SO much better. Maybe Girardi will realize this as he brings a more "new school" approach than Torre ever came close to. I'm afraid (legit afraid) that Posada will have to be re-signed, simply because we have no backup and there's no one on the market that I'd be willing to trade prospects to get over to NY. I'm also afraid he won't take a home team discount seeing as how Torre's departure was handled (which was WAY
overblown by the media...). His production just can't possibly be anywhere near where it was this year, but we'll be paying for that sort of production for the next 2-3 years...not a fan.

I'm also definitely NOT willing to part with any of our top-tier prospects to snag Santana from the Twins. This idea has been bandied about fairly seriously among various Yankee followers and I'm really super duper opposed to it. I don't care how good Santana is/can be. Honestly. The spark and energy that Joba/Hughes/Kennedy/Melky etc bring to the clubhouse can really not be put into words. I get SO fired up watching Joba and Hughes pitch, so much so that I can't imagine the way I'd feel about Santana. Sure he's an absolutely amazing pitcher but I would honestly rather have those two on my team. Thinking about trading any of those guys, but
especially Joba and Hughes makes me want to vomit in my mouth. A lot of vomit. That would spill out onto my body. Gross.

I'm still not sure it'd be a great idea to trade Moose yet. Not sure what he can provide, but I feel like until he truly has worn out his welcome in'd just be a bad idea. I wouldn't be super opposed to the trade but it would have to be someone pretty effin sweet to go through with it. If I were Cashman, of course. I don't know how you did this, because he is so good and such a hard worker, but you forgot about Pavano. How good can he be? OH WAIT he'll never pitch for the Yankees ever again because he's a huge fucking pussy that can't do shit on the mound but still makes an ass-fuck-ton of money. God he pisses me off.

Anyway. Go Yankees

Monday, October 29, 2007


So the Red Menace and I boldly invaded Williamsburg last Wednesday evening for one reason only: to have as much fun as humanly possible for 5 days. Following said debacle I can satisfyingly say that the trip was a resounding success.

I imbibed so much over the course of Homecoming that I feel like I should be hungover for at least a week. Fortunately for me, my body loves me and decided to fore go that unpleasantly and just skip to the euphoria and elation one may experience after a singularly succesful weekend. Staying in the ol' apartment and no longer being a resident was somewhat weird, but the massive dude-fest that was the first floor living room certainly satisfied any pre-existing sexual urges I may or may not have been experiencing in the weeks leading up to HC. I'm not sure of the exact count, but I feel safe in saying that at least 7-10 guys were packed into what may be a 15' by 15' room. It was tight.

Building houses will - at least for a bit - be a big letdown after doing absolutely nothing but get-hammered-for-5-days-straight this past HC. How many can a person legitimately go to and not feel depressed about their life? I plan on testing those boundaries...

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


Is it sad in any way whatsoever that I can commit 1+ hour each day to playing video games?

PS - On a side note, I have absolutely NO idea how Paul Byrd made it through 5 innings. He is SO bad that he had to resort to that dual windup crap to throw off the timing of the Boston hitters. Although I suppose once you reach his level of crapiness the only other thing to do to get better is to cheat, a la Kenny Rogers in 2006.

Dustin Pedroia is also making it look very obvious that he's a rookie. David Ortiz has changed his stance, leading me to believe his knee is absolutely killing him (although he did absolutely destroy that HR ball last night - but it was against Paul Byrd. Big whoop). Colorado v Cleveland in the World series would have approximately 18 viewers.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Transformers Cubed

Monday night brought with it the chance to see Transformers for a third time, a possibility that intrigued me nearly as much as Sean's sexuality. Seriously though, who wouldn't want to go see a movie as badass as Transformers for a third time?? "Not me," says I.

So on that note, we rolled out to the 50 cent movie theater last night with high hopes and loose wallets, excited for the possibility of seeing robots in our midst. Regrettably, they wouldn't be real robots, a fact that continues to sadden me to this day. Does that ever make you mad? Not having totally sweet robots? This is 2007; there should be totally advanced robots existing and transforming into totally awesome Chevy Camaro's or giant semi-trailer trucks. I'm seriously tempted to name any kid I have Optimus Prime.

As torturous as that kid's adult life would likely be, imagine the possibilities among the elementary and pre-teen age groups. All of them have likely seen and experienced what Transformers has to offer and probably agree that the character 'Optimus Prime' is one of the most badass motherfuckers around, and is also one of the best looking best singing motherfuckers in the world. If he sang, duh. Teachers calling roll call would likely be the most fun, as they read the kid's name with complete disbelief and tentatively ask if Optimus Prime was present. My kid would then jump out of his seat and stand on his desk, shouting at the top of his lungs: "AUTOBOTS! ENGAGE!" God, I seriously just got goosebumps thinking about how awesome that would be. Imagine the final scene from "Dead Poets Society" but with a happy atmosphere and kids half that age. Also imagine that instead of saying "Oh Captain, my Captain" like a bunch of awesome kid stands up and the rest rally around him! OMG!

I'm 22. Sad.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

"That's what she said"

Today I finally got to work with a group of fairly attractive young (ish) volunteers who - if I had to guess - were all in their mid to late 20s. At least I hope so. Not that it really matters, of course. I wasn't running game.

But...I did have to let slide a ridiculously good 'that's what she said' moment in light of my new situation. If I had been around anyone other than volunteers I would have let loose with that ill verbage like it was my job, because the moment was oh so key.

One of the girls was staining porch railings next to me and at one point a large daddy longlegs crawled out onto the railings and she screamed. This was no ordinary scream; it sounded exactly like a yelping dog. I don't know where she came from with that scream, but it was super obnoxious. I was afraid she had died for a second. But no, it was just a spider that is actually incapable of hurting anyone. What a sloot. She probably loves to party.

But after this exclamation one of her friends came out to see what the problem was (it seriously sounded like a dog had just died when she screamed) and saw the spider. She sort of yelled and said: "Oh my GOD! I have never seen one SO big!! That's HUUGE!" I had such a hard time keeping my mouth shut. I was LOL'ing so hard on the inside. Although I guess in that case it wouldn't be lol'ing, it'd be something like "loloti," if that works. Probably doesn't but who cares.

So yea, I held back. I'm maturing.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Me + 34 years

So today I met the 56 yr old black version of myself. It was pretty scary to be perfectly honest. We were doing siding together and I was saying how you needed to make sure the pieces fit in tight together and he caught me off guard with "Haha mannn I liiike it tight." I was completely thrown off my builder game and realized that it was exactly what I would have said if I had been in certain types of company. I gave a nervous laugh and just kept plugging along, pretending that it didn't happen. What could I have possibly said that didn't worsen the situation?

Option A:
"Oh yea man me too. I feel ya on that one."

This had potential, but the simple fact that I would have been uttering it to a 56 year old man made me feel just plain dirty. I mean, I'm not a champion of virtue, dignity, and non-perversion or anything of the sort (duh) but the situation was just wrong. If I had been the filter between his brain and mouth I would likely have voted to not say that I liked it tight.

Option B:
"Dude no way! I like that reaaal loose."

Ok. News Flash. I actually don't have a giant penis. No 9" of glory for me. I don't need a hugely loose ham wallet. Loose vajayjay is really something that is usually reserved for porn starts and post-childbirth mothers (and total sluts, of course). It also would have been wrong on a different level. Siding actually does need to be super tight and locked in place. So I would have, in effect, been encouraging an incorrect method of building by suggesting that I liked it real loose, regardless of the implications. No can do partner. Shit needs to be on lock down for siding. No loose joints.

Option C:

"Sir, I object to your implications. Spare me the immaturity."

While this may very well be the safest option in terms of not getting yourself into trouble, it goes completely against any dogmas I may have established in past instances. Obviously the most Habitat friendly response, it likely would have been laughed at and ridiculed, which is something that my fragile psyche just can't handle at the moment. Yea that's horseshit.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Fantastic 4 2

Honestly, I really didn't have high hopes for the second installment of the Fantastic 4 movie series but jeez. It was bad. That's coming from me too. I was only barely entertained for the 80 minute bad-acting extravaganza. Barely. Jessica Alba is just going to start having to take her clothes off to get movie roles because she can't act for crap. I'm ok with this. Jessica Alba has a flaming hot body. Too bad Jeter gave her herpes because that kind of ruins the whole I want to have sex with her thing. As much as I love Jeter, I don't want his herpes.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Construction is seriously underrated. I have never, ever given enough credit to those guys that slog around a house and put shit together and take shit apart. It's hard to describe how tiring it is to work (what will be) 6 days in a row doing serious manual labor for 8-9 hours a day. I get at least 8 hours of sleep a night but still manage to be exhausted all the time. It's the sort of tiredness that sleep just can't cure. I drank maybe 4 beers last Saturday night and I was very tipsy. I won't say drunk because I just can't admit that to myself yet; that I actually may have been drunk after 4 beers.

But seriously, the ability to do construction for decades (my supervisor Charles has been at it for at least 2 of them and is, btw, a Yankees fan w00t) means you have a man-strength that few can ever possess. Sam and I talked about this once a while ago. He told me that after my year here in Charlotte I'd get that 'man strength;' I had no idea what he was talking about. But after he described it in detail I realized Sam wasn't as stupid as he looks. Even if they don't work out, it always seems that men (not young men like us) are just naturally very strong because they've been around for longer. That is, they've acquired the sort of strength that weights just can't give you: man-strength. Construction workers have this by the bucketfuls. Even the ladays get down and dirty with the man-strength. Carrie, who is one of the other supervisors (late 20s) is ridiculously skinny but exceedingly strong. It's crazy. So, like Sam said, I suppose all of this good work is going to make me buff and manly, something that has eluded me my entire life. Especially the latter.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Building on Faith Blitz

So tomorrow begins the first bit of hardcore work here for the new AmeriCorps at HfH; when I say hardcore...I really mean it. Habitat Charlotte's description of this ridiculousness:

"Founded on a Christian mission, Habitat Charlotte pays annual service to our spiritual roots through our Building on Faith Week. This project is our signature Blitz Build Project, celebrating our special connection to Charlotte’s faith community. Each fall since 1995, faith groups of different denominations partner with us by spending 1 week constructing between 10 and 20 homes for local, low-income families.

Placing a specific emphasis on action and reflection, every day for that Blitz Build week, volunteers work alongside future homeowners to bring their houses to life. Throughout the week, time's taken to appreciate these accomplishments with celebratory habitation services, where all participants rejoice in the work completed and become energized for the work ahead. Volunteers are rewarded with the special gift of seeing the tangible impact their service can have in the course of just one week."

Today (Friday) we - my partner and our supervisor - prepped the 2 houses assigned to us for the next week and a half. This basically entailed prepping some trusses (the big triangles that form the assembly for the roof) and laying out the wall components to be ready for framing tomorrow. Framing is just assembling the walls on the ground and then raising them up, bracing them, and attaching them all together to make something resembling exterior and interior walls.

My arms and shoulders are nicely singed because Charlotte is insanely hot right now and working on a bare slab for 7 hours a day has a tendency to really fuck up your day if you're not prepared for it. My right hand is all torn up from all the work it's done these past 2 days (haha, yea laugh it's funny) nailing and carrying all kinds of stuff.

I go to bed by 11pm every night now and it looks like that is going to continue for the foreseeable future; that is sad. It makes me feel old. But if I'm waking up at 5:30-6 every morning I've got to get my beauty rest in or else my day will be absolute shit.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

HfH update

So, an update on this whole 'Habitat' thing is in order I suppose. Early Tuesday morning we left as a group to go to national orientation for all AmeriCorps HfH peeps in Eatonton, GA. As I made sure to keep my expectations low, I was not disappointed by the trip at all; it actually exceeded some expectations. Every evening there would be ultimate frisbee and breakfast was good. Most other things were either boring, unnecessary, or just plain thilly. I'm pretty sure that everything we did there could have been accomplished much more efficiently, cheaply, and easily at each individual affiliate across the country (HfH International flew most people in to Atlanta to be bussed to Eatonton) as opposed to sending everyone to a central location. Apparently though HfH is very much about nationalizing/standardizing their program as a whole so that's why they brought everyone to nowhere-ville, GA. Although the place where we stayed was owned by UGA; normally it was used as a 4h camp (Rock Eagle). So, in a small way, Jeremy and Kat paid for my orientation.

We got back to Charlotte at 12:30 or 1:00am on Friday morning because we all wanted to sleep in our own beds as opposed to staying another night in the cabins at Rock Eagle, which was a very good decision. Friday was therefore mostly an off day, but we spent the early afternoon buying tools with one of the Construction supervisors (there are 6 'site' supervisors who lead crews of 2 AmeriCorps each). We were given $100 to buy tools on a list. That was fun as I've never bought tools for myself and I got to spend someone else's money, which is always a plus.

Saturday was our first day of real work, as we began our construction training by building the sub-floor of a house. That basically amounts to a shit ton of nailing. The house is - sort of - divided into two halves by sets of parallel beams that in a sense form the backbone of the house. Joists are run down each half (each joist is about 13.5' long and 12" wide) every foot or so on average. In each joist go (on average) about 10-15 nails. There were (wildly guessing here) probably 30-50 joists all told on the house. That's a ton of nails. That's not even counting other random boards that must also get nailed to complete the sub-floor of a house. These aren't even big houses - maybe 1200-1500 square feet, so imagine having to build some 3500 sq ft house... Although they would, of course, be using nail guns, which we have not graduated to yet. The supervisors all wanted to see how we worked around a construction site; how we were with tools, terms, each other, physical labor, etc so they could figure out which AmeriCorps would work best with each other. I'm a pretty good nailer, not gonna lie. The blisters from the day are painful though, as my soft hands are not used to such manly labor. I gotta build up that man strength before I can really consider myself experienced.

We also found out our partners and supervisors on Saturday, so it's nice to know who we'll be spending a lot of time with over the next 11 months or so. It should be fun.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

So the GreekFest 5k is a pretty fast one going by the results. It always amazes me when old people (basically anyone over 30, duh) are still ridiculously fast. I hope I don't get stop exercising, but given my penchant for laziness it totally could happen. Oh well, I'll still have that irresistible charm regardless of what happens.

The winning time for men was 15:24... This dude was running a 4:58 pace for 3.1 miles. That's ridiculous. For all those runners out there who I've ever maligned I apologize. No matter which way you cut it, 4:58 is effin fast. I'm jealous.

Before the race I noticed a couple of really good-looking girls at the start so I was hoping to impress by being totally awesome and fast; I don't know what happened to one of them but the other almost won the women's division. So that plan didn't really work out. A lot of people were running with ipods, which I didn't really get...I mean training with an ipod is cool but in a race I feel as though one wouldn't want to be distracted by music or even unable to hear people right next to you in the pack. Strange, but everyone is entitled his or her druthers.

The results page is at

I ended up 61st overall (men and women) and 53rd out of 426 men. I was 4th in my age group (20-24) out of 17 total. I'll take that. Immediately following the race I was pretty pissed about my time but I'm more than ok with it now. It's something that will only improve if I keep working.

I enjoyed the race so much I signed up for a labor day 5k in Gastonia, NC (about 30 minutes west of Charlotte). Should be entertaining.

The other AmeriCorps and I went out for the first time together last night and I got tipsier than I expected to. Embarrassed myself I'm sure but who really's what I do. And I'm a champ at it.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Greek Fest 5k

In all fairness, running is not nearly as easy as it's made out to be. Simply putting one foot in front of the other at a relatively fast pace all while keeping your balance, tempering your breathing and making sure you don't run into anybody during a race is quite difficult (at least for me). No, I didn't fall or make anyone else fall, but I learned a lot about myself.

The GreekFest 5k is - according to its sponsors - one of the largest and fastest 5ks in Charlotte. Now, I don't know whether or not that is saying much but winning times for men have been in the low 15s for the past several years. According to my book, that's fast. Really fast. Going into the race I knew I wasn't even going to come close to competing for an overall position (and boy was I right) but I wanted to post something pretty respectable; something I could be proud of.

Going by my pacing during my training runs for the past couple of weeks I thought there was a realistic chance that I could run between an 18 and 19 minute time. I even thought I could post something around 18:30 in an ideal situation, which meant something that was completely flat. I'm much, much better at running on flats than any sort of hills, be it up or down. I'm sure that's not a unique characteristic but it seems to be even more pronounced of a difference for me (maybe it's just mental, who knows).

Anyway, the course was not hilly but there were some pronounced inclines on some of the sections. I wanted to try and pace myself to run about 6:30 for the first 2 miles and then kick it up for the last ~1 mile. Unfortunately, it didn't exactly work out like that. As in (seemingly) every. single. race I've ever done (cycling, obvi) I tried too hard at the beginning to stay near the front of the group. For the first 2 miles I was in a group of about 50 people (mostly guys but there were some women as well), the front of which was about 150-200 yards in front of me. I paced myself behind this guy in a yellow shirt for those first 2 miles but then my effort had to increase exponentially just to stay with him during the last mile or so. I tried for too long to stay with that guy (who I imagine ran somewhere around an 18:00) but in the last 1000 meters or so I just couldn't do it anymore. I began to feel lightheaded and my breathing got very ragged. Up until then I had been keeping my breaths nice and even but it just reached a point where my legs were screaming for more air.

The last 500-600 meters were definitely the hardest. The pressure to finish well was exaggerated by the (literally) hundreds of spectators lining the course for the last bit of the race. I tried to do a kick at the end up but it was mostly futile, alas. I finished with a time of around 19:30 going by my watch, although the final results will be more accurate given that everyone was wearing those timing chips.

All in all, it was fun; now I have a time to build on and hopefully I'll race again within the next month. Whew

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Moved In

So my move to Charlotte was accomplished with very little fuss; the living arrangements are much better than expected, which is always a big plus. There are four apartments, each with four single bedrooms and one common area that includes a well-equipped kitchen and a living room. The bedrooms are long and skinny but I've managed to make mine look quite nice, if I do say so myself.

One thing I am definitely going to have to do is get some more posters because I hate having drab white walls. That's one of the things that really could have used some improvement last year in ol' 1418-A. Luckily I have a couple of totally awesome Lance posters waiting for me in the old apartment that I just have to get at some point, along with a ton of kitchenware.

I will get a digital camera sometime soon so I can take some pictures. Hopefully. I also want an xbox 360 really bad but that's just a little bit more expensive.

Monday, August 13, 2007


So, because I'm bored and quite literally have almost nothing else to do besides watch baseball and read I decided I'd put my training results up here; not in the expectation that people will read it and/or be interested by it, nor to brag about how many (or few) miles I've put under my belt (believe me it isn't very many), I simply want a place to look and see how I've done. That's it and that's all, just for fun. I know any runner who has more experience would see the miles as trivial but I'm moving slowly because I don't want to get injured and I am new to doing weeks of 30+ miles.

Date Miles Time Pace Avg HR Time Anaerobic % Anaerobic
8/7/2007 3.5 N/A N/A N/A N/A
8/8/2007 5 N/A N/A N/A N/A
8/9/2007 5.5 N/A N/A N/A N/A
8/10/2007 5.5 39' 35" 7' 15'' 171 15' 00'' 38%
8/11/2007 3.3 24' 30'' 7' 25'' 163 8' 35'' 35%
8/12/2007 5.1 36' 45'' 7' 18'' 175 13' 13'' 40%
8/13/2007 5.1
38' 50''
7' 50''
10' 58''
Weekly Totals 32.9


So, while I've put in the miles I haven't yet hit the pacing the way I would like... I know that on most of these runs my pace outside of the warm-up and cool-down has been right around 6' 30'' but I haven't yet figured out how to do splits on my watch so that's somewhat useless information given that I'm not even sure whether I'm right about it or not. I also feel as though I have a tendency to be anaerobic for way too much time given that most of these are base fitness-building runs and not tempo or interval workouts. I tend to make these into something similar to a fartlek but mine are even less organized than your typical fartlek workout. One of these days I'm going to get the guts to go ahead and just run for an hour but that's a big mental hurdle as I've never been anywhere close to that on any run I've ever done before. I think the closest I've come was somewhere around the 45' mark on a treadmill.

It's also averaging about 100 degrees (110 heat index) in New Orleans during the mid to late afternoon when I'm running so that certainly hasn't helped my times or my mileage. I would guess that by the end of the run I lose (seemingly) several gallons of sweat and body weight, which isn't a very pleasant thought. I'm hoping that once I move up to Charlotte the temperatures will become slightly more mild.

I've also unfortunately been getting slower as the week has gone by. Monday felt like running around with 50 pound legs and my knees didn't feel 100%. Time for a rest day.

One of the cooler things I've discovered with running is the awesomeness that is Google Earth. It's so easy to map out runs and find distances that it's almost hard not to use. You can waste a lot of time just sort of browsing around on that program. Scary to think that if commercial satellites have imagery that good how much better must government satellites be?

Wednesday, August 8, 2007


So instead of signing up for bike races in order to fill time over the next year, I've decided to (as of now, at least) give competitive running a try. I know, I know. Running is a sport usually reserved for people who just aren't good at anything else due to their extreme lack of hand-eye coordination or overt obsession with body fat percentage and aerobic thresholds.

Along those lines, I signed up for my first 5k a couple of days ago in the hope that I could get some small satisfaction after doing well in a totally different kind of race. Having never run competitively before (even in middle school or high school) I don't really know what to expect come 'race' day. My history with cycling has promoted the idea that I can just sit in the pack and wait until the final sprint to shake people off my wheel and come out with a good result. That is, of course, a sweeping generalization but the point is that I am positive that I will finish this race and be completely exhausted - something that (I think) doesn't happen quite as much in cycling.

Adding to my complete lack of knowledge on the subject is the fact that I have never (as far as I know) run more than 20-30ish miles in a week, tops. I know a 5k isn't a very long race but, as with cycling, I'm confident a base fitness helps a great deal. Training with the goal of doing well - in my age group - is a complete different type of running for me. In the past it has been running with the goal of getting in shape for intramural sports or cross-training for cycling. I've never run more than 5-6 miles in one outing, having usually limited my runs to about 3-4 miles or 30ish minutes. So the idea of doing a 7-9 mile long run once a week is quite daunting, to say the least. Especially considering I've never figured out how to pace myself adequately for anything lasting longer than 30 minutes. For me it's always been about intensity and never volume. Even when I was biking regularly that was mostly the case.

So, with about 2.5 weeks before the first race of my budding running career, I have a lot to learn and a lot of training to do in a very short time period.

This will be me after the race...