Sunday, August 14, 2011

Annddd I'm spent

S - 16,100 yards
B - 218.5 miles
R - 42.4 miles

Time - 20.54 miles

I'd love to tell an entertaining story this week that somehow, however remotely, relates to the training I did but after racking my brain for the past 7.5 minutes I can't actually think of anything amusing.  I guess funny isn't a necessary component to blogging but it certainly makes things more interesting.  I'm sure reading about weekly swim/bike/run totals gets boring (heck, actually DOING it gets really boring) so I try and come up with super epic things to discuss (or at least I will for the foreseeable future) but unfortunately for everyone I seem to be reaching into an empty suitcase of courage this fine evening.

I think what I'll do this time is examine some of my favorite Rules.  Too many triathletes disobey these rules and single themselves out; it is time to start a new trend of looking cool while trying to be cool.  Triathletes try hard (haha, smirk) to be good at 3 sports (well, one over-arching sport really) so it's important to look the part as well.  This may be a multi-part series...

Rule # 4 - It's all about the bike
It is absolutely, unequivocally, without question about the bike.  Anyone who says differently is a twatwaffle.

A lot of people would choose to ignore said sage advice and point their oh-so educated finger at the most famous book discussing cycling, testicles, and cancer all in between two covers: It's not about the bike.  Many people would say it's all about the run.  Many people would say "there's no such thing as a good bike and a bad run."  Many people would say a lot of things, but the rule remains.  It's completely about the bike.  Both in cycling and in triathlons.  The run is all about the bike.  The swim is setting up to be all about the bike.  The bike is obviously all about the bike.  No questions, no disagreements.  

Rule # 7 - Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp
Under no circumstances should one be rolling up their sleeves or shorts in an attempt to somehow diminish one's tan lines. SLEEVELESS JERSEYS ARE UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES TO BE EMPLOYED.*

Whew, this one is a doozy.  Firstly, let's start with people being embarrassed about tan lines; especially girls.  A tan line that is the result of say, a swim suit is hot, period.  Tan lines are suggestive; that's EXACTLY what makes them awesome.  They say that you are outdoors, that you train your ass off, and you are fit.  There is nothing wrong with any of those things.  They are all awesome.  

Sleeveless jerseys are also another thing that triathletes seem to enjoy.  Roadies rarely, if ever, get caught dead in a sleeveless jersey.  There's a good reason for that: they look ridiculous.  They're almost always cut poorly.  For men, untrimmed pits = gross dead animal looking things coming out from under your arms when you're in aero position.  Take note, it's nasty.  Either trim the pits or get rid of the jersey.  Only two options.

Rule # 10 - It never gets easier, you just go faster
Climbing is hard, it stays hard.  To put it another way, per Greg Henderson: "Training is like fighting with a gorilla.  You don't stop when you're tired, you stop when the gorilla is tired."

This is one of the hardest things to rationalize.  It's easy to think that those going faster are somehow not working quite as hard (or the converse is true as well, those going faster think that those going slower are somehow going easier) but it is definitely not true.  Everyone is working hard, just everyone's "hard" is at a different pace!  

So I'm going to stop there (for now).  On a more personal note, Age Group Nationals is in 6 days! woot!  Not only am I excited for the race, but the following week is going to be spectacular! w0000t

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